25. a photo of a night you loved

Tara, my mother, and I - Xmas '07.

Fooling around with Photo Booth.

We were all laughing so hard, we were crying.

My mother the writer

My mother sent me such a long text message early this morning. I woke up and read it immediately, then I thought: Wow. My mother should write a book. Or a blog. Or start a blog then write the book.

She really should. Even if it's called "Letters to My Daughter" or something! I will not rest until I convince her to do it! Or have her write it, but I post it for her (considering she is not too tech literate).

This needs to happen.

Go, Mom, go!!!

Anyway, drinking coffee at my desk, door shut - my poor kitty begging to run around the apartment, but...I can not. I can't risk a cat running amuck in an apartment where no pets are allowed, but new roommates are.

No one has moved in yet. That I can hear. Soon, I will venture out to grab more coffee - maybe I should put the coffee pot in my room, too? (haha)

Here's hoping for the best...

24. a photo of you that your hair looks nice in

I loved this haircut!

23. a photo of your friend as a baby

Lil Erika - Awz. ^_^

And yes, I am pretty sure that is a guinea pig...with one eye.

Lightsaber murder & new roomie mysteries!

I am utterly exhausted.

I honestly just thought about leaving the post at that. I did not sleep very much last night, at all. The sleep that I did get was full of dreams (many) and a nightmare or two (received an e-mail saying I did NOT get the job, etc.). My dreams, however, were both horrible and hilarious. All of the dreams I remember were like murder mysteries! In one of them, this man killed his mistress via lightsaber through the mouth. Hah!

I guess I really shouldn't find that amusing...but I do.

I've spent the majority of my day cleaning, organizing, trashing and moving. The apartment looks great, though! Well, besides parts of my room and my bathroom! But I need a break.

I am, supposedly, getting two - yes, TWO! - new roommates tomorrow and/or Sunday. I know nothing about them and have not lived with a) anyone I don't know or b) any females since...well, never!

I am thinking the worst, but of course my mind is wide open. Who knows?! Maybe I will get along splendidly with BOTH of them and we'll be like the Sex in the City girls!

Hahahahaha. Okay, sorry. I needed some humor today.

Despite the pessimist in me working over time, I truly hope this is beneficial to me as a person. I hope we get along and are respectful of each other (and each other's things/space).

We shall see!

Wish me luck!

Interactive resume, HO!

So, the past 3-4 days have been chaotic, exciting, entertaining and utterly productive as I created an interactive resume that I could present to the Photojojo team.

I applied for this job. There is no doubt that this is my dream job. And I have been psyched about this for a while now - as those of you close to me have had to "deal with". ;) (I'm sorry - actually, no I'm not! - but thank you for all of your support!)

Yes, this means I would drop everything and move to San Francisco straight away (in my mind, at least). And that, too, makes me giddy. I have longed to be rid of this "small town" and have often spoke of moving to California (Florida and Washington were dually considered). It served me well - MTSU especially - but it is just time to go, and let go.

Although, I know a resume does not mean you automatically get the job, I worked oh-so-diligently and hard on this and, well, I did my damnedest! Now, I just pursue an interview so that I can woo them with this Jamie charm!

I am proud. I am proud of what I've done and, most of all, proud that my closest family and friends are also proud (and supportive). This means more than anything. Hands down.

So, thank you again.

You know who you are.

I love you, guys.

22. a photo of your town

What represents MY town better than the MTSU Library, right?

21. a photo of you standing up

Me & Marky. Old school thrift store kids. <3

20. a photo of something you enjoy doing

Cooking (though just found out I love this, recently)!

And eating! Nomnomnomnom...

This is my homemade Alfredo sauce and homemade bruschetta!

I need a change in scenery.

I feel sick. And I don't even know why.

I have all of these thoughts in my head that I feel need to be written down, but when I think of writing them down I feel overwhelmed. I've been feeling that a lot lately. Overwhelmed. I don't DO anything. I shouldn't feel so. But I do.

The something I was thinking of writing tonight, condensed:

I want so badly to just pack up my things, and leave. Leave this city, this state, these people - without as much as a note. Not because I hate these people or this state (the city, yes), but...well, just because. I feel like that's what I need. Maybe. I even think of leaving Punk.

I feel like I've just said the most horrible thing ever, but it's true. He doesn't deserve to be trapped in a hot car with some crazy lady for god-knows-how-long.

Yeah, well.

I'm a coward. A coward with no assets.

There goes that plan.

19. a photo of you on a school trip

Why would I have this? Ugh. No can do for this day's photo.

However, I do remember a school field trip to a funeral home when I was in like...eighth grade? - Yeah, I have no idea why a funeral home either. - I totally fell back from the group, drank from a drinking fountain, and sat down: just being in that place made me light-headed, even though we didn't see any dead people and stuff.

Fear #1: Death.

18. a photo of one of your classes

I don't have any.

So, here is a photo of the obit I wrote for myself

in my Writing for Mass Media class 2 semesters ago.

Hah.

17. a drunk photo of you

Apparently, this is a god awful picture of me.

But I love it; it cracks me up.

I am literally screaming at Jeremy, "I HAATE YOUUU!"

16. a photo of you at the last party you went to

Jamaal and I at Tillman's going away party.

15. a photo of you and someone you love

My mother and I.

This is my heart, bleeding before you; this is me down on my knees.

Sleeping last night was more of a chore than usual. I can't remember if I fell asleep this way, or if this is something completely different, but, nonetheless, it isn't fun.

I think getting up to use the bathroom three hours into my sleeping session was a mistake: I seem to have fallen off the wrong side of the bed this morning. And, no, that is not a figure of speech. I awoke with this...sour taste in my head, this pot is about to boil over and I am not looking forward to it.

A lot is on my mind; and none of it is happy.

I need my happy. Where can I find it?

My best friend won't talk to me anymore. And, despite my assumptions, will not tell me why. Apparently, ignoring someone almost completely is the best way to make someone feel like utter trash. That and being right. (Not expecting that one to make sense.)

Do you ever think about how many best friends you have lost [over the years]? Is it a lot? Three? Four? Eight? - Makes you feel a bit uneasy, huh? Yeah, I'm right there with you. Right. There.

Coffee break.

In attempts to find the perfect photo for today (re: 30 day photo challenge), I realize how alone I actually feelam...

I am stuck somewhere between fantasy and reality. I'm uncertain how this limbo came to be, but that doesn't change the fact that it's just that. Limbo. How am I to decipher between what's best for me and what I want most? Changing a huge part of your life isn't something that should be done on a whim...should it? I am trying to convince myself to do the right thing; I am trying to convince myself I'm doing the right thing.

What am I doing?

Excuse me, think I've mistaken you for somebody else: somebody that gave a damn, somebody else...

I can't do this anymore.

Can you?

14. a photo of one of your favourite family members

These are my two brothers.

Yeah. They're rockin' He-man and Skeletor shirts.

Love. =)

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...

This coffee is pretty amazing. And by pretty I mean fucking (but only in this instance...maybe).

Here I am, again: swimsuit garb, longingly staring out the window at the sun and the sky - silently threatening each cloud that appears, hoping it will get my drift and disappear.

I'm like a child. I've been living in this bathing suit - my skin slightly burnt, freckles all visible - all week. This is how it was when I was a child, as a matter of fact. I couldn't stay away from the water.

But, I mean, honestly, who doesn't like to swim?

Anyway, I will finish my cups of delicious coffee, apply more sunscreen, and head out!

Time to forget about idiotic people and the ridiculous things they do. Let the sun blind me momentarily to their shenanigans. Let the water wash away the negative emotions before I explode and do something [more than just] I will regret.

I don't answer to anyone. Especially you.

Shoo.

13. a photo of your best friend(s)

The two people who I will always love;

even if they don't love me.

^ Erika

^ Jon

xo