Lightsaber murder & new roomie mysteries!

I am utterly exhausted.

I honestly just thought about leaving the post at that. I did not sleep very much last night, at all. The sleep that I did get was full of dreams (many) and a nightmare or two (received an e-mail saying I did NOT get the job, etc.). My dreams, however, were both horrible and hilarious. All of the dreams I remember were like murder mysteries! In one of them, this man killed his mistress via lightsaber through the mouth. Hah!

I guess I really shouldn't find that amusing...but I do.

I've spent the majority of my day cleaning, organizing, trashing and moving. The apartment looks great, though! Well, besides parts of my room and my bathroom! But I need a break.

I am, supposedly, getting two - yes, TWO! - new roommates tomorrow and/or Sunday. I know nothing about them and have not lived with a) anyone I don't know or b) any females since...well, never!

I am thinking the worst, but of course my mind is wide open. Who knows?! Maybe I will get along splendidly with BOTH of them and we'll be like the Sex in the City girls!

Hahahahaha. Okay, sorry. I needed some humor today.

Despite the pessimist in me working over time, I truly hope this is beneficial to me as a person. I hope we get along and are respectful of each other (and each other's things/space).

We shall see!

Wish me luck!

This is my heart, bleeding before you; this is me down on my knees.

Sleeping last night was more of a chore than usual. I can't remember if I fell asleep this way, or if this is something completely different, but, nonetheless, it isn't fun.

I think getting up to use the bathroom three hours into my sleeping session was a mistake: I seem to have fallen off the wrong side of the bed this morning. And, no, that is not a figure of speech. I awoke with this...sour taste in my head, this pot is about to boil over and I am not looking forward to it.

A lot is on my mind; and none of it is happy.

I need my happy. Where can I find it?

My best friend won't talk to me anymore. And, despite my assumptions, will not tell me why. Apparently, ignoring someone almost completely is the best way to make someone feel like utter trash. That and being right. (Not expecting that one to make sense.)

Do you ever think about how many best friends you have lost [over the years]? Is it a lot? Three? Four? Eight? - Makes you feel a bit uneasy, huh? Yeah, I'm right there with you. Right. There.

Coffee break.

In attempts to find the perfect photo for today (re: 30 day photo challenge), I realize how alone I actually feelam...

I am stuck somewhere between fantasy and reality. I'm uncertain how this limbo came to be, but that doesn't change the fact that it's just that. Limbo. How am I to decipher between what's best for me and what I want most? Changing a huge part of your life isn't something that should be done on a whim...should it? I am trying to convince myself to do the right thing; I am trying to convince myself I'm doing the right thing.

What am I doing?

Excuse me, think I've mistaken you for somebody else: somebody that gave a damn, somebody else...

I can't do this anymore.

Can you?

Poolside fun: recreational memory loss

I have been poolside for the past 3-4 days. No where else. And it has been fabulous.

Except now. Now, that it's raining. I am sitting here, suited up, ready to soak up the sun and wasting sunscreen.

Guess I'm ready to get burnt again.

Wow, it seriously isn't going to end anytime soon either. I am disappoint.

Back to the basics: my muse ran away. Initially I thought she was only hiding so that I would go outside and enjoy summer, rather than go about my pasty white life as is; but now...I think I'm being punished. Punished for my lack of effort, for my laziness.

I stopped writing - all together. Unless you count countless tweets about the sun and the pool and music.

Maybe that's it; I needed a musical intermission. Maybe.

But, honestly? Some genius needs to invent mind to text like now. This is out of control. I need my thoughts to instantly transfer into a memoir before they're gone for good. I need to be able to be in the pool, swimming, while simultaneously writing the next best seller.

Word.

I had an ingenious idea for the beginning - or middle? - of a novel. I had it right before I fell asleep last night. I punched it lazily into my iPhone Notes app and passed out. Today, I remembered, by chance, that I had done that, read it, and smiled. It was still just as epic as it was when my sleepy brain thought it up.

This is good. This means no more looking at scraps of paper and trying to decipher what I actually meant to write, or wondering what the hell my Excedrin PM influenced self was thinking.

I'm not used to my afterthoughts making sense like that. It's kind of nice.

More later (probably not).

Have you ever been too tired to make coffee?

...that doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. So much for staying up all day. However, I'm probably better off. Six-ish hours of sleep, I feel like I should be eating brains: yeah, I'll be down for the count by 10pm. I hope.

Coffee break.

Brain excrement

So, I am supposed to reset my schedule today. You know, stay up all morning/afternoon/evening until I completely pass out from utter exhaustion of the mind/body/soul.

Yup.

Kinda tired.

I was going somewhere with this until my brain just shat all over itself.

Ouch. And how gross.